Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Dreaming of Cohousing — Arielle Bywater

A few nights ago I had a cohousing dream. It was, of course, about consensus decision-making. In it, a group of folks were trying to decide on a name and signage for a retail store we were doing through cohousing (on site?). There were three guys who wanted to name it after and use the image of a goddess, which for some reason I thought was a terrible idea. (Interesting that it was three GUYS aruging FOR a goddess which I was AGAINST...but that's fodder for a different kind of blog.) I finally realized I was not going to get my way and I had to stand aside, which was not easy for me.

All of which is to say, I guess, that I'm realizing that cohousing is not just buying a house in an established community and getting to know your neighbors well. It's not even just planning such a community. It's working with and establishing that community from the beginning, which, like parenting, partnering, or any other difficult and long-term and complicated relationship, requires real work and one's best self.

1 comment:

  1. I think revealing and nurturing your 'best self' is a potent fringe benefit of becoming involved in a community like this. Because being your best self takes some effort, we usually reserve that for our most significant relationships, and tend to let it slide in most of our routine interactions with the wide world. When a group of people like this are all simultaneously trying to be the best they can be, something magical and transcendent happens — like guys arguing for Goddesses… — Steve